Thoughts Ahead

So a liquid fast is not a good idea, at least right now. I realized going from eating what I was to just liquids wouldnt be smart because of the big jump in calories, and the fact I could easily want to binge or overeat. I didn't eat yesterday at all until 8:30pm, and had some celery, hard boiled egg, and an apple with some almond butter. I lost a pound more this morning from yesterday even after all my bathroom trips...so Im happy about that.

Today it's been coffee, 12pc sushi and an Honest Ade juice, which is considerably low in sugar versus any other juice drink. My biggest thing I need to stay away from is fruit juice. Even though I only drink 100% no sugar added, it's still way too much fruit sugar. I always add metamucil for more fiber, but then it's just too many added calories when I could just eat a piece of fruit with less calories/more fiber.

I'm planning to have some organic plain popcorn before work is over (6pm) and then when I get home the boyfriend and I are going for a jog, then I'll prob do an apple with almond butter again for dinner, maybe a hard boiled egg. Im so anxious to get this weight off, and I feel like I will really follow though because keeping track of myself on this blog. Also I can get out all my mental stress and thoughts I feel I can't talk to anyone with, granted anyone that can remotely understand what I'm living with (my ED).

I have a follow up with my doctor, and I've taken myself off wellbutrin, and so far Im only lightheaded and a bit nausous. I'm going to ask about going on topamax, since I've heard about the benefits with not having an appeitite, or at least food tastes like ass when you're taking it. Even though Im not a constant binger, or overeater, I'll have to say I feel this way. My weight has been consistant in the last year, but it's 15lbs heavier than I want to be, and then I hope to take another 10lbs off. My Stepmom's bacherlorette party June 5th (We're going to NYC overnight! Staying at a hotel in Time Square!) and then their wedding (Dad and her) June 19th, and I have a beautiful brides maids dress. Once I hit 120lbs if not less I'll post a pic in it :)